Happy New Year!

Resolutions Anyone?

Resolutions 2

In previous years, my New Year’s Resolutions have been nothing more than, “To progress in my dream to be a published author.” And for the last few years, I’ve accomplished this little lot (along with a lot of procrastination, forum time-wasting and continual rewrites)…

Year One – Finish the Book
Year Two – Let people read the Book
Year Three – Sent the Book to Agents
Year Four – Self-publish the Book

It’s been an awesome journey and last month, I had my best sales to date: 175 sales and 300+ Kindle Unlimited downloads. Hurrah.

So what about 2015? Well, this year, my resolution is to publish not one, but TWO books – Nearly Almost Somebody will be out in February, and with a following wind, Afterglow will be out in September. Double Yey!!

Those are my resolutions, what are yours?

Cx

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#Forfeit Soundtrack – No. 9

Only four to go in the #FORFEIT soundtrack. Track Nine is Red by Daniel Merriweather. It’s a beautiful but incredibly sad song. We’re getting into spoilersville now, but this song was the inspiration for a key scene in the book, and these lyrics could so come from Xander’s mouth:

All of these problems, they’re all in your head
And I can’t be somebody else
You took something perfect
And painted it red

‘Daisy, I know you. There are several things you’re really not into, but he did them all, didn’t he?

She took another long drag on her cigarette.

‘Jesus, I’m right, aren’t I? That fucking…’ Xander put his hands behind his head, taking a deep breath. ‘He tied you to that bed and did whatever the hell he liked.’

Slowly, she exhaled the smoke, not having a clue how to fight back.

‘You do know what that’s called, don’t you? It’s called rape, Daisy.’

‘It wasn’t like that,’ she said, her words little more than a whisper.

‘Wasn’t it?’ Xander shook his head, his frown worse than ever. ‘Or is that just what you tell yourself?’

No, it wasn’t like that. But she merely stared at him, unable to talk.

‘Even the other night… I’d never push you where you don’t want to go. Or is that the problem? You want another bad boy.’

Daisy still had no words as she watched him light a cigarette, swear and put it out. Even when he was about to leave her, he was sticking to his New Year’s resolution.

‘Stupid fucking me,’ he said, moving to the other side of the kitchen, getting away from her. ‘I’ve spent hours on eating disorder websites trying to understand you. He treats you like crap and you love him. I treat you like a princess and you still fucking love him.’

No, not anymore. She stubbed out her cigarette and poured another vodka.

‘Daisy, it’s half-ten. Is that your answer, to get shitfaced again?’

She shrugged, staring at the glass. She was a Has-been. It was her turn. But she wouldn’t lash out like Bethany or go crazy like Holly. She’d handle it with dignity and grace.

‘You know you never loved him,’ he said, ‘not really.’

‘What? Of course–’

‘I don’t think you even like him.’

‘Don’t be ridic–’

‘What are you doing tomorrow, Daisy?’

‘Going to the hairdressers, I’ve already…’ Oh God, was tomorrow the fifth? She had no idea what the date was. Her eyes burned again.

‘You don’t give a fuck about it being a year since you left him. It was just an excuse you used so I’d forgive you. Seriously, do you give a fuck about anyone but yourself?’

She turned away from him before the tears started tumbling out. Dignity and grace. Xander came to stand behind her, resting his head against the back of hers. She dug her nails into her palms, swallowing hard and taking deep breaths. Stop crying.

‘Daze,’ he whispered, ‘do you give a fuck?’

***

Want more? #FORFEIT is on sale now – at just £1.99 or $2.99 and it’s FREE with Kindle Unlimited!

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If you missed the previous tracks, check them out here:

#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 7
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 6
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 5
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 4
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 3
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 2
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 1

 

#Forfeit Soundtrack – No. 8

After a small gap, let’s crack on with the #FORFEIT soundtrack. Track Eight is by David Guetta and Dirty South. It’s totally awesome, possibly my favourite song of the decade so far… How Soon Is Now.

At home, she expected him to dive off to bed, leaving her to watch MTV until the bloody drugs wore off. Instead, he sat on the sofa and skinned up. Daisy stood in front of the fire watching him, waiting for the lecture. Maybe she should leap in first with a sorry, or thank you?

‘No,’ he said, stopping her as she opened her mouth. ‘Get me a beer, please. I’m going to smoke this, then you’ve got some making up to do.’

Making up to do? She tried not to look too pleased.

He laughed, without much humour. ‘You’ll be horny as hell, if I know you, and I’d prefer to get it out of your system than have you sit here thinking about your bastard ex-husband all night.’

Well, she didn’t see that coming, but she couldn’t see any issue with obeying either instruction. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. ‘Aren’t you going to yell at me?’

‘What’s the point? You’re off your tits.’ He looked her over. ‘But so we’re clear, I fully intend to take every advantage of the situation.’

Her body fizzed with excitement and she smiled her most dazzling smile. ‘Bring it on, baby.’

***

Want more? #FORFEIT is on sale now – at just £1.99 or $2.99 and it’s FREE with Kindle Unlimited!

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If you missed the previous tracks, check them out here:

#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 7
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 6
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 5
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 4
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 3
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 2
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 1

 

Merry Christmas!

My moment of glamour in the last week didn’t come from the Lakes as I was in the Alps. But they’re still mountains, right? It totally wasn’t a Louboutin moment though, not unless Christian makes red-soled ski boots.

Despite the dubious snow conditions this year, I still managed to sneak in a cheeky glass of Chardonnay in the sunshine. Happy days.  peisey 2

I’m totally looking forward to February when I’ll be off to Andorra skiing. soldeu_fizzPrices are so incredibly reasonable that my friends and I mostly only drank Tattinger on the slopes. Happy, happy days.

Have an awesome festive period!

Love

Caroline

xxx

 

416 #2 It Started With A Kiss…

…And Muddy Knees

Last week, I posted one of my entries for an old Authonomy.com competition. The task was to write a 416-word short story. This is another entry, one of my faves. I’ll tell you why at the end… 

Lottie the Gardner

MuddyKnees:    you still going tomorrow?

Lottie1990:       Yep

MuddyKnees:    🙂 see you there, geordie carrot queen. x

Lottie stared at the avi of Mr Bloom from the kids’ TV show and frowned. X. In six months of questions, advice and chatting on organicveggrower.co.uk, MuddyKnees had never added an ‘x’ to his messages. Why now, the day before they’d finally meet?

‘Howay, are you still mithering that Crack Phone?’ Barbara from the neighbouring allotment wagged a courgette at her. ‘You’re addicted, pet.’

‘You’ve a cheek. This iPhone saved you from purple sweetcorn.’

‘And how is your organic veg guru?’

Lottie picked a mangetout, hoping to hide her blushes. ‘That’s the thing. He’s sent us a kiss.’

‘Really?’ Barbara beckoned her over to peer at the message. ‘Howay, you’ve pulled, pet.’

‘Don’t be daft.’ Lottie picked at the mud under her thumbnail. ‘Anyways, all I know is he’s from Yorkshire and he writes an allotment blog. He could be forty and married.’

‘Or thirty and single? You’ll need new undies.’

‘Give over. It’s an organic allotment meet-up not Geordie Shore.’

‘Aye, pet, but some fancy silk knickers hiding under your dungaree dress will make you feel right special. It’s not for him to see, not yet, anyways.’

Lottie blushed as red as her radishes. Did she have time to nip to the Metro Centre on her way to Harrogate in the morning?

‘And,’ Barbara said, returning to her weeding, ‘if he is forty and married, you can wear new pants down the Bigg Market tomorrow night.’

Lottie mimed stabbing herself in the heart. ‘I’d rather eat your entire crop of purple sweetcorn.’

 

‘Lordy, you’re prettier in person than you are in your avi.’ Carole, forum moderator and host of the meet, led Lottie towards a group admiring her brassicas. ‘Wait ‘til you clock MK. We might not agree on slug control, but I already adore the boy. He looks like Rafael Nadal and talks like Alan Titchmarsh.’

Lottie felt herself redden as the only male under thirty looked around. Carol wasn’t kidding. Tall, dark and wielding a trowel. He sent her a kiss?

‘Lottie, meet MuddyKnees aka Xavier Thomas Hernandez-Stone.’

Xavier? With a mixture of amusement and disappointment, Lottie shook his hand. It wasn’t a kiss – it was his bloody initial.

‘Nice to meet you, Xavier. Finally.’

Still holding her hand, he smiled, blushing slightly. ‘No one calls me Xavier. Ridiculous name for a Yorkshire lad. It’s Tom.’

Lottie grinned, delighted she’d blown forty pounds in La Senza.

***

 

This was one of my favourite entries, not because it’s a work of genius – it’s not – but because it gave me Lottie and Tom. They’re the stars of The Carrot Queen (Working Title) – a tale of romance, radishes and a ruthless psychopath. Allotments have it all going on, baby. 

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#Forfeit Soundtrack – No. 7

Track Seven on the #FORFEIT playlist is Addicted To You by Aviici…

Minutes passed, but by the time the ambulance arrived, Tabitha’s eyes had begun to flutter. Daisy almost cried with relief.

‘I’ll be back in a sec,’ Finn said, darting over to the paramedics.

She stared bewildered as Finn chatted with the paramedics and stroked Tabitha’s brow. Alone, half-dressed in a Manchester club… what the hell should Daisy do now? Mercifully, Finn soon came back over, his relief palpable.

‘They think she overheated. She’ll be kept in overnight, but she’s okay.’ He looked down at Daisy with nothing but concern in his eyes. ‘Are you okay, Dee?’

Daisy nodded and they followed the stretcher. How the hell would she get home?

‘Daisy?’ Tabitha tugged the oxygen mask off. ‘I had an awesome time. Shall we do it again next week?’ She tried to give her silly, tinkly laugh but as it faded to a cough, she let the paramedic put the mask back over her face. Tabitha had never looked more fragile or bizarrely, more beautiful.

Finn engulfed Daisy in hug and she sheltered against him, desperate for the comfort.

‘Do you want to get a drink at the bar next door?’ he asked, gently lifting her chin to face him.

‘I have to go home.’ Daisy took out her phone. Six Facebook notifications waited. She’d been tagged in three photos. ‘Xander’s going to find out about this and he’s going to kill me.’

‘Then don’t ring him.’ Finn slipped a hand around her waist.

Oh shit. ‘I have to go home.’

‘No, you don’t.’

His hand drifted down, over the curve of her arse and Daisy fought not to drag her fingers through his hair, not to press her body against his. That familiar aftershave, those mesmerising eyes… What if?

‘This is a very nice dress,’ he whispered, ‘but you’d look much better out of it.’

The hand on her waist, slid up her back then moved forwards until his thumb skimmed over an instantly hard nipple. Oh dear God. His eyes dared her to stop him.

She didn’t.

‘I have a suite at the Lowry,’ he said, his breath brushing her cheek.

Oh Christ, he’d pulled her closer. Or had she moved? Only millimetres of hot, electric air stood between them.

No.

Now, why hadn’t she said it aloud?

‘Dee?’

She reached up, running a hand through his hair. He closed his eyes and she gave in, pressing herself closer. His heart thumped in his chest as her thumb traced over his lips, so familiar, so perfect, so fucking snoggable. He kissed her lingering thumb, just kissed it, but he may as well have stuck his hand in her pants. She wanted him. Badly. And from the look in his eye, she’d say the love of her stupid life wanted her just as much.

This was it, the answer to everything. Her and Finn. It wouldn’t be like before. They’d be different. They’d have kids, she’d say sorry, they’d be happy. Why had she ever bloody left?

***

Want more? #FORFEIT is on sale now – at just £1.99 or $2.99!

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If you missed the previous tracks, check them out here:

#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 6
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 5
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 4
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 3
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 2
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 1

 

416 #1 It Started With A Kiss…

…And A Scummage

A few years ago, authonomy.com hosted a little competition to celebrate the publication of Miranda Dickinson’s It Started With A Kiss. The task was to write a 416-word short story – no more, no less. I stumbled across my entries the other day. I thought I’d share them with you.

Because I never make my life easy, I asked my writing buddies to challenge me, to give me things to shoehorn into a 416-word story. This was attempt #1. It had to feature: a circus, rugby, the name Josephine and a good Samaritan, … 

moonrise over country road

The decoy car punched through the media circus outside the hotel. Tom went next, braving the flashes so Lottie could escape unnoticed. Part of her adored the photographic evidence of them kissing in a bar, but the headline, England Rugby Captain In Sin Bin with cBeebies Presenter crucified her – emotionally and professionally. One day she’s a National Treasure, the next she’s Lottie the Hottie.

For ten miles, she relaxed in the anonymity of the night, but at Chatsworth a Range Rover caught up with her – caught up but didn’t overtake when they had the chance. Lottie shook off her paranoia. That was no paparazzi vehicle, too expensive.

But it didn’t turn off at Bakewell, or Buxton, or Macclesfield. Half a mile until her exit. What if they really were following her? Should she call Tom? Or the police?

She turned without indicating, her heart thumping in her chest. The Range Rover carried on. To Prestbury. She had to get a grip.

Mercifully, no journalists lay in wait outside her cottage. She’d made it. Lottie slowed, but her smile was short-lived as lights filled her mirrors.

The Range Rover was back.

She daren’t breathe as the silver monolith pulled up behind her, its lights a contrast to her cottage which sat in darkness. Isolated, neighbourless darkness. Lottie slammed her foot on the accelerator. She had to get to town, to people, to safety.

With a shaking hand, she called Tom. ‘Someone’s following me.’

‘A photographer?’

‘No.’ She gripped her steering wheel. ‘I don’t think so.’

‘What kind of car?’

Its lights were too bright, too close. ‘A Range Rover. Silver.’

‘Reg number?’ His voice had changed.

‘I can’t see.’ A sob escaped her throat as she accelerated, trying to get away. ‘Tom, I’m scared.’

The Range Rover kept coming.

Fifty, sixty. The lights got closer. Seventy. Too close. The Range Rover rammed into her and Lottie screamed, battling to stay on the road. Somehow she did.

The lights disappeared and Lottie checked her mirror. No, they hadn’t gone, but they were stationary. Flickering. Vertical.

‘They’ve crashed,’ she whispered.

‘Get out of there,’ Tom said.

It might be stupid, and the last thing she ever do, but Lottie reversed. What if they were hurt?

With her phone in hand, she approached the stricken vehicle. Blood and highlighted blonde hair covered the woman’s face, but Lottie would know her anywhere.

‘Tom, it’s your wife.’

‘Help me,’ Josephine pleaded.

Lottie the Hottie to National Treasure in one Good Samaritan moment.

***

I didn’t win the Authonomy competition, but before I wrote this 416, I’d never dreamt I could write a car chase. This one might not be worthy of Hollywood, but #Forfeit fans might recognise this scene – it became the basis for one that Daisy gets caught up in. Isn’t it amazing what you can discover simply by giving something new a try?

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#Forfeit Soundtrack – No. 6

Welcome to the #FORFEIT playlist – Track Six is a bit different to my usual vibe, but I think it suits the angst Daisy’s feeling. Welcome to Forfeit by Chevelle…

Itching with a masochistic desire to read the HeatWorld article, Daisy unlocked her phone, but the first notification waiting for her was Forfeit invited you to like the page Forfeit – the Ultimate Game of Dares. Her finger shook as she clicked the link. Eighty-one Likes. What the hell? Liked by who? Who knew about it?

On Saturday 24th June, five hedonistic twenty-somethings each tossed fifty pounds into a pot, gambling on their ability to do a dare. Follow their progress as they get ready to play the final round.

Who the hell would be interested? Eighty-two people, one of them a friend of hers. Clara had liked this nonsense?

In Round One, birthday boy James Dowson-Jones collected bras…

The names were hyperlinks. Daisy clicked hers. Daisy Fitzgerald – Forfeit Player. It wasn’t her own Facebook page, but another set up by someone else. It had a shot from James’ party as the profile picture. Vague details about her. And comments. People had posted comments on her wall.

Do the dare!

Hope you play!

Do the dare #forfeit

It had a hashtag? Oh God. It did. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real. But over on Twitter, @ForfeitHost had almost a hundred followers, the hashtag dozens of tweets.

@polilrichgal: Daisy’s a Fugly Ho. #forfeit

@1_D_fangirl_1990: hate her too, but so want to play #forfeit

@skizzerd_love: bet they don’t turn up on NYE #forfeit

@wineinachippedmug: she’s alright, I reckon. Daisy to win.

At least someone was on her side.

Daisy scoured the tweets, the comments, the messages. Ninety percent of it was people discussing dares they’d done or forfeits they paid, but the other ten percent? Bitchy comments, mostly decrying her as totally unfit to kiss the feet of Xander or Finn.

By the time she’d chain-smoked her way through half the bottle of wine, the Facebook page had almost three hundred Likes and @ForfeitHost over five hundred followers. This crap was going viral before her eyes, not hurt by the Daisy/Finn/Brittany story.

Pay the stake, Roll the dice, Do the dare.

The tweet had come from @jellyfishmommie at 10:45. By 11:30 that quickly became a mantra tweeted and retweeted with horrific regularity. Daisy hoped the jellyfish mommy had her jellyfish babies taken away from her. Pay the stake…

‘I don’t have five thousand pounds, you stupid cow.’

Want more? #FORFEIT is on sale now – at just £1.99 or $2.99!

If you missed the previous tracks, check them out here:
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 5
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 4
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 3
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 2
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 1

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14 Things I’ve discovered…

… on the road to becoming a self-published author

Important Disclaimer: these are my experiences and may not be typical – in fact, they may be as far from typical as appears feasible whilst still sitting somewhere within the realm of possible…

  1. If you look at self-publishing as a hobby, it’s cheaper than horse-riding, diamond mining or going to the movies once a month.
  2. A brilliant book does not mean you’ll bag an agent/six-figure publishing deal. A brilliant book, kick-ass cover, slick editing, and selling a hundred thousand Kindle editions might.
  3. Submitting to agents is a form of self-flagellation. Horsehair shirts cost less and are emotionally less devastating. (Plus you can write about the experience later, publish that book on Kindle, give it BDSM tags and sell more copies than you would the dystopian YA thriller you were originally touting to agents.)
  4. Having a blog is great – random strangers DO read your witterings. Some of them even buy your book.
  5. Signing up for authonomy.com does not guarantee you’ll be noticed by an agent the next day. It’s a website where you can learn key marketing skills such as, I’ll read your book if you read mine. Promise this one million times and you might hit the Editors Desk – this never leads to publication. Ever.
  6. Signing up for animoto.com does mean you can make your very own book trailer.
  7. Getting your first book professionally edited is a really good idea even if you’re not looking to self-publish. An editor will focus your style on the market/genre you’re really writing for, point out where your writing skills need work and you could end up with a manuscript an agent does want to read.
  8. Grammar and punctuation are not dark arts – they’re a skill every author can and ought to learn;
  9. Signing up for youwriteon.com does not guarantee you’ll be noticed by an agent the next day. It’s a website where you’ll receive reviews such as , ‘I hate chick lit and this shoe-based romance…’ and ‘I normally prefer steampunk erotica so this western romance…’
  10. Some people do make it big – with very little effort it can seem.
  11. Some people plug away for years and make pocket money.
  12. That book you finished – it isn’t finished. Typing ‘The End’ simply means the editing can start.
  13. Right now, on Amazon you can buy a book called Mail Order Tiger Bride Wars – it does what it says on the tin. That BBW shape-shifter piece of romance is currently ranked higher than #FORFEIT. Yet that doesn’t sting nearly as much an agent rejection letter because….
  14. Three million reads on wattpad.com say people really like my books.

And that’ll do, pig.

You can buy #Forfeit today and find out why it’s so popular on Wattpad:

#Forfeit_Blurb

#Forfeit Soundtrack – No. 5

While I’m writing, I have quite tight playlists that ‘go’ with the book. For #FORFEIT, the playlist had just twenty-three songs. Twenty-three. At my desk, in the gym, in the car, that’s all I listened to – for a year. Nuts. I’ve edited the list down to the twelve songs  I think sum up #FORFEIT.

Here’s track five, Anything Could Happen by Ellie Goulding…


‘For God’s sake, you’re twenty-two. The world’s your oyster. What do you want to do?’

‘I want to be a chef again.’

‘So be a chef again.’

‘You know I can’t, not after Lucy.’ He took a long drag on the cigarette and let out the smoke with another lengthy sigh. ‘Besides it’s not that simple. I want more.’

‘Everything’s that simple. How much more?’

‘I want my own restaurant and I want… you.’ He glanced back at her, shaking his head. ‘Seriously, I don’t know what you’ve done, but it’s killing me. The other week I actually stood in Boots smelling shampoos, trying to find the one you use. It’s coconut and lime, right?’

‘Coconut, lime and macadamia oil. My mum makes it.’

He closed his eyes and laughed. ‘I can’t believe I’ve just told you that.’

She struggled not to grin, though there was nothing she could do about her burning cheeks. He was obsessing over how her hair smelled? ‘But what’s so difficult? Aside from the last one, they’re all totally achievable. Your family has a chain of restaurants and you are a chef. Why don’t you just do it?’

He swore and ran his fingers through his hair, staring at the ceiling. ‘I’m too young. I need more experience. I can’t do it.’

‘Can’t or scared to?’

‘I’ve been sous chef for a genius head chef on that stupid yacht for two years. I can turn out top end food, fine dining. I trained with some amazing people. Anthony’s got two stars now and Grandpa Oliver… have I ever told you Oliver’s my middle name?’

‘Alexander Oliver Golding.’ The only way to say it was with a plum in ones mouth. She giggled. ‘You’re so public school.’

He smiled for a second. ‘I don’t want, well I’m not aiming for a Michelin-starred place, but I can’t…’

‘You can do whatever you want to do.’

He sighed. ‘Back in the day, Rob and I used to talk about opening a restaurant.’

‘Robbie, really?’

‘He hates his job too. Can you imagine how much of the girls’ lives he misses out on? He managed the bistros until he fell out with Dad.’

She nudged him. ‘I dare you to tell Robbie.’

‘Dares?’ The frown still lurked, but at least he was smiling. ‘I haven’t recovered from your last one. Are you sure you’re not achievable?’

‘Oh, stop it.’ She swatted his leg but laughed as he gently tugged her hair. ‘I don’t have my beer goggles on now, sunshine.’

God, she’d missed him. And two weeks in the Med hadn’t done him any physical harm. His skin was chestnut brown and by the look of his t-shirt, the boy was buffer than ever. She’d forgotten how perfect he was, too blinded by her KSCP, the nice guy who’d saved her life. But sat beside her, his thumb running along the edge of the wine glass, was the Xander who’d kissed her for hours when they were coked up but didn’t take advantage because he’d made a promise; the Xander who’d licked salt off her stomach before he’d knocked back a shot of tequila and gently taken the lemon from her mouth.

It was madness, but her heart thumped against her chest and she stared into his deep, brown eyes, desperate to do it all again. For months, she’d pretended she didn’t fancy Xander, but who was she kidding? She fancied the pants off him. Literally.

Want more? #FORFEIT is on sale now – at just £0.77 or $0.99!

If you missed the previous tracks, check them out here:
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 4
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 3
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 2
#FORFEIT Soundtrack – No. 1

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